To the young mothers,

It’s tough being a young mother. I know, because I am one, and I’ve had a far easier go of it than many of you have. I’m 21, even though I still have people questioning if I’m old enough to have a driver’s license yet. When I was still in college, I got confused for one of the high school students visiting campus. That was a minor annoyance, but otherwise not a big deal.

And then I got married and shortly thereafter got pregnant. Oh, how things changed.

Every time I have a discussion with the billing department at the doctor’s office, they ask who the policyholder on my health insurance is. When I disclose that it is my husband, I get The Look.

Are they more shocked that I have a husband? Or are they more shocked that my husband has the type of job that provides health insurance? Either way, you would think I had announced that I was planning to move to Mars and raise my son with the aliens.

When I go to the grocery store or the bank without my husband, I sometimes find older ladies scowling at my protruding tummy. Do they think that if they make disapproving faces at my expanding figure long enough, then my child will cease to exist? What exactly is that type of behavior supposed to accomplish? I am married, but even if I wasn’t, the ship has obviously sailed. I am pregnant, and I am having a baby.

Even those who know that I am married have questions. Was this planned? Didn’t I want to do other things before I had children? Those other things are important, you know. Don’t I believe in birth control? Better yet, some have horror stories about how having a baby is the worst thing you could possibly do to your marriage. These are church-going people!

Here, in the shadow of this culture, sits the pro-life movement. It’s been 43 years since Roe vs. Wade, forty-three years of legal abortion in the United States. To the young mothers, I’m sorry.

I’m sorry because if I get these sorts of negative reactions to my pregnancy, which happened after I got married, I cannot imagine what sort of comments you hear. I will probably never fully grasp the sort of courage it takes to choose life when you have a boyfriend who left you and no other support system, but I admire it.

So young mothers, know that when I hear someone make a negative comment about you, I defend you now. Choosing life for your child can be the difficult choice, and it takes a great deal of strength. May God bless you for having that strength.




13 comments on “To the Young Mothers”

  1. Laura, I’m enjoying catching up on your blog as a new reader, so forgive me if my comments aren’t timely. I don’t want to “spoil the ending” so I’m reading from oldest to newest. Regarding this post on young mothers, it was an eye opener. I’m sure I’ve been guilty if judging young pregnant women and assuming they were having their baby outside of wedlock. You also have a point that I should be rejoicing that they are choosing life. Good points to ponder! I think society as a whole is too quick to make the rules. I remember people commenting that I had the perfect family and could stop having more children when I had a girl and then a boy (whose to say I shouldn’t have more? – although I only have two). I know a wonderful lady with a dozen children and notice many people look at her with disdain. I know many who scoff at a “wasted education” when a woman decides to stay home with her children. I guess the ignorance of man will always be a part of life. Just look to God for direction because His opinion is really the only one that matters!

    • You’re so right that we should be seeking the approval of God, not of man.

      I do want to share that the nursery workers at my church do a wonderful job of loving on EVERY baby and treating EVERY baby as a blessing. <3

  2. Laura,

    I love that you got married so young and wanted to start a family then! My husband are planning on having kids soon and even though I’m 31 people still tell me I should still focus on my career first! PS: I’m marching today for people just like you!

    • I really never realized it either until I started dealing with incorrect assumptions. I have such a heart for mothers in difficult situations who choose life. We should be supportive of their courage.

  3. Thanks for sharing Laura- I am 32 and have a 4 month old daughter and often feel like I have no idea what I am doing. Motherhood is challenging no matter what your age, but I cannot imagine not having a supportive husband. Thanks for the great perspective.

  4. Thank you for writing this! I, too, cannot imagine the challenge for young, single mothers. My husband and I have 6 children, 7 and under – 2 of whom we adopted through the fostercare system. Disapproving looks a plenty come our way, as well!
    A previous comment rightly mentioned seeking God’s approval instead of man’s. I think it’s refreshing, though, to know that you are not alone! 🙂

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