Hospitality without a House

hospitality without a house

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. – 1 Peter 4:8-10 NASB

From this passage, we learn that hospitality is one way to serve and show love to others. In certain situations, it can take more creativity to invite guests into your home. According to the National Multifamily Housing Council, 37% of Americans are renters. Of those who rent, 51% are under the age of 30. Most young couples will live in an apartment at some point during their married life. I’ve lived in two apartments since I got married in June 2015. I’ve enjoyed both of my apartments and believe that God has put us in them for now.

Apartments do present some challenges while entertaining guests, but they do not have to eliminate the possibility of hosting altogether. The purpose of hospitality is to show the love of God to other people. The purpose is not to impress other people with your fancy house.

I’ve previously written about how some of the simplest gestures have had the most impact on other people. Sometimes chatting about Jesus over a simple cup of coffee is the best way to serve your guest.

Some of the best ways to make your guests feel comfortable do not involve having a large space. Be sure to ask if anyone has any food allergies. If you don’t already have children yourself, invest in a few toys at Goodwill. After thoroughly disinfecting them, keep them in a small basket or box to have on hand when you have youngsters visit.

Simple Ideas for Practicing Hospitality in an Apartment:

  • Prepare one of your favorite crockpot meals and invite someone over for lunch after church. The crockpot eliminates stress. I put all of my ingredients in the removable part of the crockpot and then refrigerate it overnight. The next morning, I set the crockpot in the base and leave it on high while we’re at church. Setting it up in the morning takes maybe 2 minutes at the most.
  • While hospitality is commonly put into practice by hosting people in your own home, it can also be shown in other ways. If you know someone who has recently had a baby, gone through a surgery, or lost a loved one, bringing them a meal is usually appreciated. One lady brought me a dish full of chili soon after my son was born, and it was so helpful! Even if you have minimal space in your own home, dropping off food is a fantastic way to bless another person.
  • Invite someone over for brunch. Brunch can consist of a menu as simple as coffee, orange juice, and bagels with cream cheese. Older ladies who have lost their spouses often enjoy just having a conversation with another person. Living as a widow gets lonely.
  • When the weather is warm, pack a picnic and head to a local park with another family. Sandwiches are simple and kid friendly. Enjoy God’s creation together!
  • Host an afternoon tea. In addition to the tea, serve a pretty dessert. Now that I can have dairy again, I like cheesecake. This one might be better if you have girls.

Have you invited people over when you had a small home? Share your ideas in the comments!

Gospel-Centered Resources on Contentment {Part Two of the Contentment Series}

Today I am publishing part two of Paris Byrum’s series on contentment. Click here to read part one. You can find more of her writings over at Nourishing a Life in Christ. Thanks Paris!

contentment

To follow up on our last post on contentment, I thought it may be helpful to include tools and resources you could use. In times of discontentment and evaluating your heart, it’s good to have some outside help.

  • We should always start by looking at Scripture. In this verse, Paul describes how he has learned to be content.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am in to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:11-13

  • I really enjoy reading Rick Thomas because his articles are filled with practical steps to overcome sin. Below is a sample of his call to action, and how we can learn contentment.

What situation in your life today is trying to move you from contentment to discontentment? In that situation, are you more like a thermometer or a thermostat? Do not miss Paul’s point about how you arrive at contentment. It is a learned condition of the heart, that comes from discerning and applying the Lord’s work in your life through years of constant practice. – Rick Thomas

God has brought your circumstances to you for a purpose, and they are ultimately for your good.

  • In this article by John Piper, he states that the secret to overcoming discontentment is “Trust in the Lord with all your heart” (Proverbs 3:5).
  • This 5 minute video clip is helpful to see that discontentment is a sin, and discusses how we choose to respond.
  • Finally, this awesome sermon by John Macarthur gives you the “Seven Keys to Contented Living.”

In conclusion, no matter what circumstance we are facing in our homemaking, whether it is living in a small space, not having a Pinterest perfect home, or not having gourmet food photos to post on Instagram, we can learn to find contentment in Christ because He has already overcome our sin. Our part is obeying Him, trusting in Him, and walking in faith. Gazing upon our Savior, rather than on what we do not have, will greatly help in renewing our minds.

Comment below if you have had a struggle in discontentment, and how you can take action or overcome your sin. If you have overcome this sin, share how the Lord helped you to do that.

About the Author: Hello, my name is Paris Byrum. I am a Christ follower, a wife to a great husband for 8 years and a mama to four littles. I am a lover of all things creative & seek to encourage others to run the race and live a life to glorify God. Come visit me at Nourishing a Life in Christ if you like what you read here.

A note from Laura: You can find Paris on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Increasing Your Cleaning Motivation with Podcasts

cleaning motivation

This post contains affiliate links. For my full disclosure, click here. 

I admit it: I don’t love cleaning.

According to my RAs in college and my husband, I’m fairly competent at it, but it just doesn’t bring me joy. Inviting people over seems to be the best way to get me motivated to clean. However, there is only so much of that one can do.

Before I got married, I’d always lived with my large family or in a dorm full of girls. There was always someone to chat with while I did mundane tasks such as cleaning. Once I got married, I started having a lot more alone time. Despite the fact that I’m a strong introvert, the silence just seemed unnatural.

I recently discovered the wonders of podcasts. I have no idea why I didn’t start listening to these sooner! You can listen to lectures on a wide variety of topics for free. Listening to an episode while I work on household tasks both breaks the silence and provides some brain stimulation. It’s a win all around.

A lot of cleaning experts will tell you to set a timer while you clean. Instead of doing that, I’ll start a 30 minute podcast and work on a cleaning project until the episode concludes. This has the same benefit as the traditional set-a-timer method, but it’s much more interesting.

Since I set my cleaning time as my podcast time, I almost look forward to cleaning. Almost.

My Top Podcasts

  • Homemaking Foundations – Jami Balmet hosts Homemaking Foundations, blogs at Young Wife’s Guide, and posts weekly video podcasts on YouTube. Did I mention that she has two sets of twin boys and a newborn baby girl? Okay, while I’m over here wondering how she manages all that, go check out her podcast. Seriously. I want to be more like Jami when I grow up. Jami got married young like I did, has boys (though more of them than I do), and loves books, so I can relate to her. Homemaking Foundations covers spiritual disciplines, freezer cooking, marriage, motherhood, goal setting, reading, and much more. It’s my favorite podcast.
  • Homemakers in Action – Like Jami, Becca Day runs a podcast, a blog and a YouTube channel. Phew. Becca has a really fun British acccent. Becca is a young wife and mother who chats about homemaking skills and how to manage your home, even if you aren’t a naturally talented homemaker. She brings hope and humor to women who are just starting out in their homemaking journeys. Homemakers in Action just launched recently, but I’ve enjoyed both of the episodes so far.
  • Politico’s Nerdcast – I have been a politics nerd for about nine years now. While I had to cut back my consumption of news media during the 2016 campaign, election, and aftermath, I do still like to get caught up periodically. The Nerdcast has more in-depth analysis than a standard news article or clip.
  • A Slob Comes Clean – I first discovered Dana K. White when I was a new homemaker dealing with a challenging pregnancy and fighting my exhaustion to keep my house clean. As someone who is also of a more creative bent, I relate to Dana’s personality. Though she is funny…I’m not really funny. If you want to listen to somebody give you a pep talk about cleaning while you’re cleaning, A Slob Comes Clean is the way to go. I also really like her ebook Drowning in Clutter.
  • Brilliant Business Moms – After a long hiatus, Brilliant Business Moms recently made a come back. Beth Anne does a Q&A format with moms who run businesses. If you run an Etsy shop, a blog, or even a brick and mortar business, you’ll enjoy the tips on business from people who understand the critical importance of balancing work and family life.

Do you listen to podcasts? What are some of your favorites?

 

Finding Contentment in Your Homemaking {Part One}

Today I’m featuring a guest post by Paris Byrum of Nourishing a Life in Christ. She is sharing a personal testimony about how she learned about contentment.

finding contentment

A huge part of homemaking is contentment. This is so very hard in a #firstworldproblems culture. With Pinterest at our finger tips, it’s often easy to become covetous of what we do not have or what we are not. A heart of unbelief leads to a heart of discontentment. Regardless, if we claim Christ as our savior, we are called and even commanded to be content in everything we do, are given and in our circumstances.

A Look into My Past
Looking back on my homemaking career, I have unfortunately learned the hard way of what contentment looks like. About 6 years ago, my husband had made the decision for us to move into a 5th wheel trailer in hopes to save enough money to purchase a home in the future. At this time I had one baby, and sold many things so that we could be comfortable in our new small space.

During the summer, and the “honeymoon” stage of it, it felt like an adventure! It was fun, new, and exciting. After about 6 months, and winter setting in with a new pregnancy, this fun was starting to wear off. Friends started to feel uncomfortable in my small space and getting the wood stove to start was difficult on super cold nights.

These cold nights were where my cold heart began. Bitterness was setting in.

“If only I had forced heat…”

“I wish we had a instant hot water heater…”

“I want more space!”

“I can’t wait until we move into a house…”

This was my attitude for 4 long years. In the midst of homemaking, I gave every excuse as to why I could not enjoy my life at this moment or why I could not keep up on the laundry or fill in the blank. I complained about virtually everything, even though I justified on why I complained by comparing what I didn’t have to others.

It was a very difficult time in my life, and it was because I was looking and focusing on the wrong thing. At this point in my life I was not saved and it was difficult for me to understand that this was a worldly way to respond to my circumstances. I needed Christ to transform my heart!

In the race of faith, it is crucial to remember that our contentment is not determined by our circumstances. We often want to blame circumstances for our discontent, but that’s barking up the wrong tree. Contentment is determined by what we believe. And our belief is fueled by what we’re seeing. So if you need to lay aside the weight (Hebrews 12:1) of discontentment today – the sinful kind that stems from disappointment and leads to grumbling – begin by looking at what you’re looking at. – Jon Bloom

Looking to Christ
To analyze my heart looking back, my focus was far from Christ. It was on the next thing of a new house, and my unbelief caused me to sin further.

Though many of you may not have lived in a trailer with 3 children ages 2 and under with 90 square feet of walking space for 4 years, I am sure you have had circumstances that were less than ideal and were discontent in the midst of it. When we strive to win the race and press towards the prize, (Philippians 3:14) our focus is vastly different then what it is on when we are discontent.

Here are a few practical steps to get back in the race:
Stop. We must stop the complaining, stop what is in the abundance of our hearts, and stop letting our eyes offend us. What does this look like? Deleting Pinterest? Praying and catching your tongue? Asking your husband for accountability?
Look. What are you wanting? Were you idolizing something? Where were your eyes gazing upon?
Think. We must renew our minds if we want to overcome the sin of discontentment in our homemaking. Our thought patterns affect our outcomes. If we are thinking on things that are is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable (Philippians 4:8) and our hope is in Christ and not in our circumstances, we can effectively fight off discontentment.

About the Author: Hello, my name is Paris Byrum. I am a Christ follower, a wife to a great husband for 8 years and a mama to four littles. I am a lover of all things creative & seek to encourage others to run the race and live a life to glorify God. Come visit me at Nourishing a Life in Christ if you like what you read here.

A note from Laura: Part Two will be released next week. In the meantime, you can also find Paris on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Living out Your Priorities

This post contains affiliate links, which means that I may make a small commission if you choose to make a purchase. This does not increase your cost. For my full disclosure, click here.

living out your priorities

Lots of tasks fight for our attention every day. We can’t do it all. In light of that reality, we have to start setting priorities. But how do we decide what is or is not a priority?

Crystal Paine runs the well-known site Money Saving Mom. She is married, has three children, and runs a successful business. If anyone is busy, it would be Crystal. In 2014, she released a book called Say Goodbye to Survival Mode. She recommends taking the time to sit down and figure out what your priorities are, and then to spend your energy on things that support those priorities.

My list went like this:

  1. Following God and growing as a Christian
  2. Being a good wife
  3. Being a good mother
  4. Being a good steward of my home
  5. Blogging

It’s a pretty standard list. After I wrote it, I realized that to evaluate how well I was doing in these areas, I would have to dig deeper. Sure, I said I wanted to grow in my faith, but what specific things was I doing to work towards that?

After giving it some thought, I wrote out specific action items under each priority.

Following God and growing as a Christian

Being a good wife

  • Wake up with my husband each day and spend time with him before he goes to work
  • Speak honoring words about my husband to others

Being a good mother

  • Pray for my son every day
  • Read to him every day

Being a good steward of my home

Blogging

  • Work on creating great content and reaching more women who need encouragement

goals

Goals are good, but they are worthless without action. I decided to write out a sample schedule of a typical day to see what areas take up most of my time. If something that’s a lower priority is taking up a disproportionate amount of time, then that needs to change.

After I wrote out my typical day, I color coded each task by category (faith, marriage, motherhood, homemaking, blogging/other).

setting priorities

My schedule should reflect my priorities. I enjoy blogging, but it’s not as important as taking care of my son. I typically work on writing from 6:15-7:00 and then again for an hour during my son’s nap. I try not to work on it while he’s awake.The bulk of my time is going towards taking care of my son and taking care of my home, which makes sense for this season of my life. After I looked at my standard day, I decided that I want to focus on spending more time doing family activities in the evenings.

What are your priorities? How are they reflected in your daily tasks?

Decluttering without the Angst

This post contains affiliate links. You can find my full disclosure here. Thank you for supporting my site!

decluttering

Some people are naturally organized. Their motto is “a place for everything, and everything in its place.” Their dishes are always done. They have effective routines in place. When the house is cluttered, it drives them crazy and they feel as if they can’t function.

Drowning in Clutter? (Don’t Grab a Floatie…Drain the Ocean!) by Dana K. White is for the rest of us.

I write a blog about homemaking. Please don’t think this means that I’m a perfect homemaker. I’m a work in progress. When I got married, I knew most of the basics of how to clean, but I struggled with when to clean. A lot of homemaking is doing the same things over and over again. The key here is consistency, and that’s something that has taken me about a year and a half to achieve.

As I worked towards keeping my house under control, I found Dana’s podcast. Ladies, Dana speaks to my soul. I think it might be the fact that we’re both former theatre people. For some reason, creativity and clutter issues seem to go together.

I never had to declutter the amount of stuff that she describes, largely because I discovered her tips early on in my adult life. Even so, her ideas are still helpful when decluttering a small or medium amount of stuff.

My favorite concept from Drowning in Clutter was ditching the Keep Box. Dana frequently says “Keep Boxes are Procrastination Boxes!” I was skeptical of that at first, but trying it revolutionized the way that I declutter. In a perfect world, I would be able to sit down and complete an entire decluttering project without any interruptions or distractions. I don’t live in a perfect world.

Even before I had a baby, I would get distracted by some other project. When I got distracted, I would leave my keep box in the middle of the floor. There it would sit, mocking me and making me trip when I returned to the room later. Sometimes it would sit for days before I quit procrastinating and put the contents away properly.

Using Dana’s method means that each item goes where it needs to go RIGHT NOW. You don’t dump everything on the floor. Instead, you take one item at a time and deal with only that item. Once that item has been handled, you move to the next item.

a slob comes clean

Drowning in Clutter contains numerous other decluttering strategies to help you conquer your clutter. This ebook is unique because it’s written by someone who actually struggles with home management. It’s not a book for people who adore and enjoy cleaning and organizing. If you’re in that camp and just want to take your decluttering to the next level, I would suggest The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo instead.

Drowning in Clutter is only $5.00, and can be purchased by clicking here.

What strategies do you use for decluttering?

Homemaking in Survival Mode

homemaking in survival mode

This post contains affiliate links. For my full disclosure, click here.

We all will have seasons of life where we go into survival mode. Most people are in survival mode to at least some extent right after a new baby is born. A surgery, a busy time at work, or a move can also throw us into a sense of being overwhelmed. (And sometimes, all three of those things happen around the same time…ahhhh!)

My goal is to think of homemaking as something that I do to bring glory to God. As an outworking of that, I really do try to stay on top of things, but sometimes life happens. I have routines, but they fly out the window during a crisis.

For example, April – July 2016 was a time of survival mode. Tigger had colic, I was struggling with health issues of my own, and we moved to another state. If I put the baby in the crib so I could use the restroom, he would scream and be inconsolable for about a half hour. As I’m sure you can imagine, my house did not look that great. We did not starve and we wore clean clothes, but that was about it for a while.

For my type A self, it was hard to accept that I didn’t have it together. “I only have one kid!” I thought. “Some people have seven or eight kids and they manage to cook dinner for real and clean their toilets!” I had to remind myself that this was a season, and that it would pass eventually. After my son outgrew colic, we were able to settle into a better routine.

Here’s how I managed when I was in survival mode:

  • Set priorities. For our family, this was avoiding having to eat out too often. To achieve that, every Saturday my husband would take care of the baby and I would prep freezer meals. Each meal would go in a gallon ziploc bag. Every morning during the week, I would dump a thawed freezer meal into the crockpot and let it cook. We survived off of crockpot dinners for months. I missed “cooking for real,” but it got the job done for that season. It was definitely healthier and cheaper than takeout.
  • Simplify. We used a lot of paper plates for the first month or so after the baby was born. Normally that feels wasteful to me. It’s okay. After a few weeks, we didn’t need them any more.
  • Delegate. I usually do the bulk of the housework in my household, but my husband did a good bit of laundry for a while there when we were in survival mode. I had to accept that I needed help and it was okay. If all else fails, my husband WILL make sure the laundry is done. He’s awesome like that. 😉
  • Let. It. Go. As women, sometimes we look at others and wonder how they do it all. Here’s the secret: they DON’T do it all. We all have to decide what is most important for our families right now.

How do you manage when life gets crazy?